


it only means there is no room for you to fall

by enchantedsleeper



Category: The Strange Case of Starship Iris (Podcast)
Genre: Aftermath of Elion, Alternate Episode 6: Parallel, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because Sana really needed a hug after Episode 6, Description of a panic attack (not POV character), F/F, Fluff, Just fluffy femslash with some requited pining thrown in, Krejjh is a matchmaker in every timeline, Love and Support for Sana 2k19, Multi, Mutual Pining, Post-Episode 5: The Carmen Gambit, Violet and Arkady are a little more perceptive, soft cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-12 20:09:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantedsleeper/pseuds/enchantedsleeper
Summary: In the aftermath of Elion, Sana, Violet and Arkady try to pick up the pieces. None of them is willing to admit they're secretly pining - at least until a broken temperature reg brings about some honest conversations.Violet and Arkady realise that maybe it's time someone else took care of the Captain for a change. She just has to be willing to let them in.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, folks! I'm proud to bring you this schmoopy, self-indulgent ficlet I've been working on for the past couple of weeks and which has been giving me such joy. o^.^o 
> 
> This ficlet managed to get me unstuck from a fic-writing rut I was in in which I couldn't think of anything new to work on, but also wasn't motivated to work on my in-progress longfics. I wanted to write something to prove to myself that I could still finish a fic, but nothing appealed. Then, after batting around an idea for a Murderbot Diaries/TSCOSI crossover (side note: would anyone be interested in that? Because I kind of _really want to write it_) I remembered this idea, which came to me ages ago when I was thinking about threesome dynamics and Starship Iris. I love me some Emily/Other Violet/Thasia as you know, but what about Sana/Violet/Arkady? Given that we've all pretty much agreed Arkady used to have feelings for Sana (or even that they were together once) and we know that Violet and Arkady have feelings for each other, it doesn't take much to turn it into the best kind of "everybody wins" OT3.
> 
> I came up with the idea of Sana talking Violet through a panic attack after Elion (because everything that Violet went through, I have no doubt that the comedown was uniquely horrible) and then I thought about Violet and Arkady realising something is up with Sana at the end of Episode 6 and wanting to be there for her. (Also, can we agree that Sana needs a hug SO BADLY during that episode? I was listening to it again and yikes. Just yikes). So, this is an alternate post-Episode 5 and Episode 6, in which some things stay the same, and others are very different.
> 
> A note about timelines: it's not completely clear during Episode 6 whether the temperature reg breaking comes immediately after the escape from Elion, since all we know from Park's commentary is that the audio was obtained sometime in the past couple of weeks. It's implied that it happens at most a couple of days after, though, and for the sake of pacing I decided to have it happen RIGHT AWAY - because that's exactly what our heroes needed, right? xD
> 
> **Content note:** As the tags mention, this fic contains a description of a panic attack quite early on. It's not the POV character, and it lasts a couple of paragraphs; if you want to skip over it, stop reading at _"Are you all right?"_ and pick up again at _Eventually, Violet's breathing slows and quiets._

After the complete and unmitigated disaster that is Elion, Sana is angrier that she can remember being in a long time.

She’s angry at not having been able to do more to protect Violet, Brian and Arkady from what just happened. She’s angry at the creeping certainty that they’ve been sold out, and at what that must mean. And she’s furious at the Regime for causing all of this, for hounding her and her crew across the galaxy, never giving them a moment to rest.

Because she’s the Captain and the crew are depending on her to get them through this, she pushes the anger down, compressing it into a tiny ball, and does what needs to be done. She helps Arkady dump the body of the unfortunate guard at the Capitol Landfill; there’s a hollow look in the other woman’s eyes that Sana hasn’t seen in years, and had hoped she wouldn’t see again. After they get back to the ship, she watches Arkady disappear into the air vents, and tells Krejjh to chart a course for Rosalind.

As she walks through the ship’s corridors, Sana fans herself with her hand. Is she imagining things, or is it warm in here? Her train of thought is cut short as she runs into Brian, who is humming to himself, looking perfectly at ease. Sometimes she thanks God – well, maybe not God, but the universe, or fate – for Brian and Krejjh, and their unwavering positivity at times like these.

“Hey, Captain. Anything more I can do to help?” Brian asks. “Violet and I got the cargo all stowed away.”

“Thanks, Brian. Nothing much at the moment, but if you can help Krejjh keep an eye on the rearview in the cockpit for the next hour, that would be appreciated,” says Sana. “Is Violet around?”

“Pretty sure she went back to her room,” Brian says. “She was starting to look kind of pale and shaky, so I told her I could finish up on my own. I think she went to go lie down.”

“Thanks, Brian,” says Sana. Brian gives her a salute and heads off in the direction of the cockpit.

Sana worries her lips together, thinking about what Violet just went through. She knows that some people – Arkady being a prime example – prefer to be left alone and not bothered with company when they’re upset. But she has a hunch that Violet would benefit from some company right now.

Her mind made up, she walks along the corridor to the other woman’s room and knocks on the door. “Violet?” she calls gently. “I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

There’s no answer, but the light around the button next to Violet’s door is green, so it’s not locked. Sana hesitates, wondering what the odds are of Violet having fallen asleep this quickly, and then knocks again. “Violet?” she calls, a bit louder. “It’s Sana. Are you all right?”

She listens, and thinks that she hears ragged breathing coming from the other side of the door. Okay then. Sana puts on her Captain Voice (Arkady calls it her Mom Voice) and calls through the door, “Violet, if I don’t hear anything from you in the next few seconds, I’m coming in, okay?”

There’s a pause, then she hears Violet call, very faintly, “Come in.”

Sana presses the button, and the door slides open to reveal Violet sitting on her bed, clutching onto a pillow for dear life. She's shaking all over and taking uneven, panicked breaths in, her pupils dilated. Sana rushes forward, catching up Violet’s hands without thinking about it and looking into the other woman’s eyes. “Violet. Focus on me,” she says, speaking as evenly and calmly as she can. “You’re safe. We’re all safe. No-one got hurt.”

“Sana-” Violet tries, her breaths becoming faster and sharper. She grips Sana's hands tightly, her skin clammy and cold.

“Don’t try to talk, just breathe, Violet,” says Sana, squeezing Violet’s hands. “Breathe with me.” She starts taking slow, deep breaths in and out.

For what feels like an age, Violet’s panicked breathing pattern doesn’t change, and Sana wonders if she’s just making things worse with her presence. Then, slowly, she notices Violet’s breaths in getting longer, and her breaths out becoming slower and more even.

“Good. That’s good,” she murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on the backs of Violet’s hands with her thumbs.

Eventually, Violet’s breathing slows and quiets. Once she's sure that the danger has passed, Sana moves to sit beside her on the bed.

“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, hoarsely. Then, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Sana says immediately. “You went through an unbelievably stressful situation and managed to stay totally calm the whole time. You did amazingly. But it’s okay to be...”

“A total mess afterwards?” Violet asks, wryly.

“I was gonna go with ‘shaky’,” Sana replies, smiling. “The point is, don’t feel bad about it.”

“But... all of the rest of you are so calm and collected when dealing with this kind of situation,” Violet says, quietly. “And here I am just... having panic attacks-”

“Hey,” Sana says, squeezing Violet’s arm, not wanting to let her go any further with that train of thought. “First of all, we’ve had a lot of practice in dealing with that kind of thing. We didn’t develop a whole system of colour codes from nowhere. And secondly, you do _not_ want to see how hard my hands were gripping the steering wheel when Arkady and I drove back from meeting the Fowleys. I think they’re still shaking.” She holds her hands out to show Violet. They are trembling slightly, though in reality it’s more due to the adrenaline of talking Violet down from her panic attack, along with her suppressed anger over everything that's happened.

Violet laughs slightly (so, mission accomplished) and leans into Sana a little. It feels natural for Sana to put an arm around her, so she does. She’s a tactile person, but keenly aware of other people’s boundaries, and usually prefers to let them initiate contact. Violet, to Sana’s slight surprise, rests her head against Sana’s shoulder. Sana looks down at Violet’s dark hair and thinks about pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Instead, she holds Violet just a little bit tighter.

What started as a brief spark of attraction the first time she saw Violet laugh – startled, when Sana offered her a cup of moonshine that she mistook for a cup of tea – that Sana was sure would die down in a couple of days has grown and grown, into a mixture of attraction, respect and fondness that some days feels too much to contain. Sana has watched Violet devote herself to the hunt for the other Violet Liu, take being thrown into the midst of a crew of renegade smugglers in her stride, and drastically reconsider her entire worldview. She’s resilient, brave, funny and insightful. Also, Sana will admit to having always had a thing for smart women.

Unfortunately, so does Arkady. Sana has seen the way she looks at Violet (and vice versa), and she doesn’t intend to stand in the way of that. Not when Arkady has had so, so few good things in her life to call her own.

Sana used to be on the receiving end of those looks, once upon a time. But she’d been too afraid to act on them, back when it was just the two of them, in case it all went south and they both lost the only person they could really depend on. She told herself she’d rather have a best friend who had her back than a romance that might not last, and she almost believed it.

It still hurt a little when she realised that, at some point, Arkady had moved on from her. But if it has to be anyone, she’s glad it’s Violet. The two of them go well together.

Sana has her crew; she doesn’t need any more than that.

“Um… Have you seen Arkady since we left Elion?” Violet asks, as if she’s somehow picked up on Sana’s thoughts.

“Yeah, uh...” Sana tries to think what answer to give. She doesn’t want to lie to Violet, but she isn’t sure when Arkady plans on coming down from the vents. “She’s around. I think she just needed to... regroup for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” Violet sounds a little resigned. Sana waits for her to say or ask something more about Arkady, but instead she says, “Is it just me, or is it pretty warm in here? – I mean, not ‘me’ in the sense of that cheesy joke, but uh, in the sense that I can’t tell if I’m just-”

Hiding a smile, Sana takes pity on Violet and cuts her off. “No, it’s definitely not just you, I’ve been feeling it too. I may need to take a look at our temperature reg.”  
  
Violet tenses, as if about to pull away. “If you need to go do that now, I can-”

"No, it's fine, it'll probably start working again on its own," Sana assures her, and Violet relaxes back against her side. "Some of our equipment is a bit temperamental."  
  
“_Temp_eramental?” asks Violet, with a tiny smirk.

“Oof. Bad pun,” Sana says, smiling. “If it's still acting up in a few hours, then I'll give it a closer look. And pray that we have the parts to fix it.”

Violet winces. “Right. And if we don’t?”

“I’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” Worst case scenario, Sana could probably jury-rig something. They would just need to make sure they picked up the right parts on Rosalind.

Violet nods and sits up. Sana’s side feels suddenly cold.

“Well, still, I shouldn’t keep you any longer - I'm sure you have plenty of more important things that need your attention.”  
  
“My number one priority is always the wellbeing of my crew,” Sana says firmly. “Anything else can wait. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m.. I’ll be fine, Captain,” says Violet with a small smile. "Really."

“You know you can call me Sana if you want to,” Sana finds herself saying. She’s not sure why; the others all call her “Captain” and “Sana” interchangeably, but she doesn’t think she’s heard Violet use her name yet. Maybe she just wants to hear it once.

Violet gives her a full smile, and it’s devastating. “Thank you, Sana.”  


* * *

The temperature reg does not start working again on its own, and the next six hours are hellish as temperatures slowly and steadily climb inside the ship. Despite Sana’s best efforts, it’s past two in the morning by the time the temperature reg is finally fixed. Arkady spends as much of that time as she can bear lurking in the air vents, avoiding Violet.  
  
Finally, when she thinks the stuffy recycled air might be preventing oxygen from getting to her brain and she’s sick of playing back Violet’s horrified expression on a constant loop, she eases herself down and heads for the cockpit.

She winds up talking to Krejjh about the war. It’s been on her mind ever since they ran into Eejhgreb and Krejjh recounted the tale of how – and why – they deserted the military. Arkady has her own memories of that night, but they’re bittersweet. She and her unit had celebrated all through the night, but lurking under it was a fear much greater than anything Arkady had felt during the war. Of what would happen when they no longer had a common cause.

Sana would probably say the conversation has been a “long time coming”, that it’s good for Arkady to get it all out. But all it does is make Arkady feel more frustrated and angry over things that happened years ago. All she’s ever wanted is to put her past behind her.

After they’ve exhausted that topic, as Arkady digs into Krejjh’s stash of fruit jerky, Krejjh jokingly changes the subject. “Speaking of which... do you want some love advice?”

“No,” Arkady says flatly.

“Cripes, trying to lighten the mood a little here, First Mate Patel,” Krejjh says, holding up one of their pairs of hands. “Y’sure?”

“Krejjh, remember when you and Brian weren’t officially together yet?” Arkady reminds them. “And he kept asking you to dinner, and you kept _inviting the rest of the crew?”_ God, that was a shitshow. A very funny shitshow, but by the end of it even Arkady was feeling sorry for Jeeter. All that time spent studying mediaeval Dwarnian hadn’t given him a single clue about Dwarnian romantic customs.

“Yeah, romantic tandem eating is not as universal as you guys think it is,” Krejjh says.

“Well, I _don’t_ need your advice.” God, nothing says ‘romantically incompetent' like taking love advice from a _purple space alien._

Krejjh, of course, persists. “Just sayin’, if y’like someone, maybe don’t spend all your time hiding from them.”

“I’m not being _bashful,_ Krejjh,” says Arkady shortly. “I all but murdered someone in front of her.”

She looks up to find Krejjh giving her an odd smile. “I wasn’t _just_ talkin’ about Science Officer Liu,” Krejjh says.

Arkady stares at them. “What are you talking about?”

Krejjh leans back a little in the pilot’s chair, seeming to look up and out at the stars. “Ya know, one of the other human romantic customs I’ve never understood is why relationships are supposed to be limited to just two people. I guess it’s a hold-over from the whole gender binary thing, but from what I can tell, even most humans don’t think that's important any more. So why keep limiting yourselves?”

Arkady swallows, her throat suddenly dry. “We do have polyamorous relationships too,” she points out. “They’re not even that unusual these days, but legally there still isn’t that much recognition. A lot of human society is still geared around two-person relationships. And a lot of people still... prefer them.”

“That sounds like a pretty big assumption,” Krejjh counters. “Why not just talk to ‘em? See how they feel about it? What’ve you got to lose?”

Arkady raises an eyebrow. “Okay, assuming we’re talking about me and Liu and Tripathi here and not about you and Jeeter inviting me to some weird interspecies ménage-à-trois...”

Krejjh laughs. “First Mate Patel, I am _wounded_ that you would reject our advances like this.” They put a hand on their chest, a distinctly human gesture that Krejjh has picked up – Dwarnians don’t have a heart in the middle of their chests in the way that humans do.

Arkady snorts, but then becomes serious again, looking down at her lap and toying with the half-open pack of fruit jerky. Now that they’ve broached the topic, she might as well keep going. She could have pretended that they were still speaking hypothetically, or discussing human social conventions, but all of a sudden she’s too tired to keep dancing around things.

“What do I have to lose? One of the best friendships I’ve ever had, with one of the only people I can count on to always have my back,” she says. “And at the same time… someone that I’m only just getting to know, who is also the first person I’ve felt any kind of connection with since…” Since Sana, she doesn’t say.

Arkady can feel Krejjh’s eyes on her, but doesn’t look up for fear of seeing pity in them. “Besides which, Krejjh, my life just doesn’t work that way. I don’t get things that I want – it’s a well-established fact. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it.”

“That doesn’t sound fair at all,” Krejjh says quietly.

“Yeah, well, life isn’t fair,” Arkady replies. She meets Krejjh’s gaze defiantly, but instead of pity, all she sees is empathy.

Silence falls between them, and Arkady figures that as the person who brought the mood back down again, she should be the one to lighten it this time. But while she’s casting about for another change of topic, Krejjh says,

“Where **has** Crewman Jeeter got to with that ice? I can’t think who he could be talking to down there.”

Arkady gives Krejjh a suspicious look, not trusting their casual tone. “What, are you implying that-”

“Krrrejjh to all crew,” Krejjh sing-songs, activating their comm. “Folks, this is your pilot speaking. I’ve got a _very_ important announcement to make to the whole crew.”

Arkady stiffens in alarm. “Krejjh, _what are you doing?”_ she hisses.

“Boy am I embarrassed,” Krejjh goes on, in a rueful tone, “but I seem to have misplaced something important. My fiancé? Crewman Jeeter? Along with a cup of ice he totally still owes me? Gonna advise that you sit tight as I dispatch our very own First Mate Patel to the kitchen to solve this little mystery. So, keep an eye out for that, _crew,_ and plan accordingly. Krejjh out.”

Krejjh meets Arkady’s unimpressed stare with a smug look. “Maybe you can’t have everything, but you can at least go talk to Science Officer Liu,” they point out. “Can’t hide from her forever. You might as well clear the air.”

Arkady rolls her eyes and reluctantly makes for the door of the cockpit. “Fine, but if it’s a disaster? I’m officially blaming you.”

* * *

It's not a disaster. Although Arkady would never, ever admit it to anyone, least of all Krejjh themself, Krejjh was right. After they’ve got past the horrible first five minutes of what Violet would call “puking it all out”, things get… better. Violet pours them both a cup of _kai shui_ (Mandarin for boiled water – something Violet says her Chinese grandparents drank back on Earth) because they’re out of tea, and they talk properly for the first time since Violet came abroad the Rumor. And okay, maybe Arkady had jumped to a few too many conclusions based on those fraught early interactions.

She’d still **liked** Violet in spite of what she thought was Violet’s hero worship of the regime, but she’d been fighting it down, convinced that it was just a front that Violet was putting on because she had to, that she’d be shot of them tomorrow if she was given the chance to clear her name and make a clean getaway. It had made it much easier to ignore the feelings flaring in her chest, the way that Violet’s admiration inexplicably lifted her mood, the guilt that she felt over having tricked and lied to her.

Now that she’s come to terms with the fact that she’d misjudged Violet (or at least, judged her too quickly), those feelings have come rushing back in full force. Arkady tries to will her frantically hammering heart to calm down at Violet’s gently affectionate tone as she says,

“Okay, I’m not going to keep arguing with you, because I don’t see us getting anywhere on this tonight, and I’m not even going to try to thank you again for saving my life-” here, a small smile that threatens to give Arkady an aneurysm “-but. For what it’s worth? Except for the times it really does seem like we’re all about to die, living on this ship is the safest I’ve felt since before the war.”

“Well, Violet,” Arkady begins after a beat of trying to find her voice. “That’s very disturbing!” She utterly fails to keep an answering smile off her own face.

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Sometimes I smile! Y’know, every now and then.”

“Good to know,” Violet teases. Arkady mentally composes an epitaph: _Here lies Arkady Patel, slain by a cute girl flirting with her._ She hopes she’s not blushing as hard as she thinks she is.

An expectant silence falls between them, and Arkady reaches for the first thing she can think of to fill it. “Look, I’m… sorry for vanishing on you right after we left Elion,” she blurts out. Violet gives her a quizzical look, but Arkady has been feeling worse and worse about disappearing and avoiding Violet in the wake of what happened. Sure, she’d been feeling like shit about killing that guard, and part of that had been down to the look on Violet’s face, a look that had seemed to confirm every one of her fears about how Violet saw them. Saw Arkady.

She hadn’t been thinking about what the aftermath of those events would have been like for Violet. How she’d managed to suppress all her panic and terror, remain calm, act and improvise in the face of mortal danger – only to get caught and believe she was about to die. Again. Finding out that Violet has an anxiety disorder only compounds Arkady’s guilt.

“I wasn’t thinking about… you did really well with the, uh. Setting aside your panic thing. But I know it was hard for you, and then you literally thought that you were about to die again when everything went south…” Arkady’s rambling, and she really wishes she could stop. “I just mean, I could have stuck around. To make sure you were okay.”

“It’s okay,” Violet says quickly. “I mean, you’d just – been responsible for getting us out of a really bad situation-”

Arkady snorts. “If that’s what you want to call bludgeoning a guy over the head-”

“-and then I, well, kind of freaked out,” Violet continues over her. “So I don’t blame you for needing some space.” She pauses, and smiles a little. “Actually, the Captain – Sana – came to find me. To make sure I was all right.”

“Really?” Arkady asks, feeling a lurch in her stomach like she’s missed a step. She supposes it must be jealousy, but she’s not sure _who_ she’s jealous of.

“Yeah.” Violet has a soft, admiring look in her eyes that Arkady recognises all too well, though she stopped gazing starry-eyed at Sana years ago, wanting the other woman to see her as more than just a naïve kid. “She just talked with me, calmed me down, and then… sat with me until she was completely sure I was okay. She didn’t once act like she had somewhere else to be.”

Arkady swallows. “Yeah, that’s the Captain for you. She’s one hundred percent genuine with how much she cares.”

“And then she must have gone straight on from sitting with me to her shift in the cockpit, and then to fixing the temperature reg,” Violet goes on. “Brian said she was pretty worn out… Does she ever take time for herself?”

Arkady snorts. “It’s a battle. She can’t rest until she makes sure that everyone on the ship feels loved and appreciated.” She’s aiming for snark, but the words come out fonder than she intends them to. “Trust me, I’ve tried to get her to take more breaks. She acts upbeat, but I think things get to her more than she lets on.”

Violet looks thoughtful. “Maybe next time we should try together.”

She meets Arkady’s eyes, and gives her the tiniest of smiles, just a quirk of the lips, and her eyes are so _knowing_, and Arkady feels it again, that missed-a-step lurch in her stomach like she’s taken a leap into the unknown. This time, she doesn’t think it’s jealousy.

“She might listen to both of us,” Violet finishes.

“I- uh- sure, yeah, we should. Do that,” Arkady stammers. Jesus. Tonight is not her finest night for dignity, but somehow she finds herself not caring as much as she normally would.

Violet smiles fully and looks away, down at the floor, her cheeks red. “Cool. Great. Um, listen, on a different topic, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you – well, more like show you…”

* * *

Sana is having a no-good, very bad night.

As if having to run for their lives on Elion and barely making it out hadn’t been enough, the broken temperature reg had stubbornly resisted Sana’s attempts to fix it. She’d sworn and sweated in the engine room as the temperature climbed steadily higher, and eventually managed to improvise a solution with some spare fuse wire and a viciously-applied screwdriver. (She’ll have to switch it out for a more permanent fix after they get some proper supplies, but for now, it’ll do).

It’s coming up on 3 a.m. and she’s hot, irritable and exhausted, but instead of being able to get any kind of rest, Sana has had to endure a tense and difficult call with Campbell that resulted in her cutting off contact with one of their longest-standing and most reliable customers, and leaving Sana with the nagging feeling that she’s made a serious error in judgement. But she hasn’t even had the chance to process that, because minutes after Campbell severed the connection, Ricky Q rose up like an elitist, blackmailing spectre from the depths of her and Arkady’s shared past to make threats against Sana’s crew.

Something about it doesn’t fit right, and she’s convinced that there’s more to what’s happening than Ricky Q’s “middleman” story. Unfortunately, the only way she can know what it is is to play along for now.

Sana can feel a headache building as she practices how she’s going to sell the idea of changing course for Hafizah to the crew. It only gets worse when, in the middle of making the case to Brian and Krejjh, Violet and Arkady enter the cockpit, full of shared excitement about some epiphany they’ve had. They’re standing closer together than usual, shoulders brushing, and as badly as Sana wants to be happy for them, she just can’t deal with this right now.

“So, me and Violet were talking about that alien robot swarm cloud, and she said-” Arkady begins.

“Arkady, is this pressing?” Sana interrupts tiredly.

“It could be,” Violet puts in.

“Is the swarm outside the ship right now, knocking on the door, trying to get in?”

“No, but we think we might’ve found a possible connection-”

“You _think_ you _might’ve_ found a _possible_ connection,” Sana repeats, placing sceptical emphasis on all of the relevant words. She knows she’s going to feel bad about her tone later, that normally she’d be in favour of Arkady and Violet devising theories and following whatever lead they can, but her headache is intensifying and she’s just done with everything tonight. “Have we made any progress on tracking down the other Violet Liu? Are we any closer to solving Alvy’s mystery? Given how we changed our _entire_ course for this, I’d love to get past speculation and into… anything else.”

She sees Violet’s face fall, hurt flashing across it at the implication that the detour to rescue her had been a burden for the _Rumor_ crew. Sana will feel terrible about that later, too.

“Look. We all liked Campbell,” Arkady says gently (for her). “But when somebody turns on us because we missed an appointment? Their loyalty was never worth shit.”

Arkady clearly believes that Sana’s terrible mood is due to Campbell’s probable betrayal, and it’s far easier to let her go on believing it than to go anywhere near the truth, so Sana doesn’t correct her. “I appreciate that. But honestly, it’s just – been a long couple of days, and it’s almost 3 a.m., and I don’t see why this can’t wait until tomorrow?” She injects a pleading note into the last syllable, in a last-ditch attempt to soften things.

“Yeah. Of course,” Violet says.

“Captain, if there’s anything we can do-” begins Arkady.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you know,” she promises them, already turning to leave the cockpit. As a result, she misses the look of concern that passes between Arkady and Violet, Violet’s raised eyebrows, and Arkady’s slight nod. “Krejjh, I’ll update you on those coordinates as soon as I’m able to.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

Finally alone, Sana trudges down the corridor to her room, goes in, and presses the button to lock the door behind her. She flops face-down onto her bunk with a groan.

“Fucking IGR. Fucking Ricky Q,” she mumbles into her pillow.

Barely a few minutes later, there’s a knock at her door, polite but firm. Sana raises her head angrily, and only just manages to clamp down on her urge to shout, _“Go away!”_ She knows that being a captain is a full-time job and that the others depend on her, but damn it, can’t she rest for just a few hours?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Captain,” comes Arkady’s voice. Sana frowns. Arkady wouldn’t bother her in her room unless it was important, but…

“Kady, seriously, whatever it is, can it wait?” she asks. “I’m really just… I really need to crash right now.”

There’s a pause, and Sana thinks that her best friend is going to relent, but then her voice comes back, insistent: “This will only take a minute. I promise.”

Sana sighs heavily and sits up, brushing her hair out of her face. At least with Arkady she doesn’t have to be as put-together as she does for the others, but she also doesn’t want Arkady to start asking questions about what exactly has got to her so badly. She walks over to the door and presses the button to open it. “What do you need?”

Arkady stares at her for a few seconds, almost as if sizing her up, and then very slowly and stiffly pulls her into a hug.

“K-Kady?” says Sana, shocked. Arkady doesn’t do hugs unless she’s really, _really_ drunk. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a hug.” At least the flat, snarky, I’m-stating-an-obvious-fact tone is one hundred percent in character.

After a moment, Arkady lets go. That’s when Sana spots the other person standing slightly apologetically behind her. “Violet? What are you doing here?”

“Also giving you a hug,” says Violet a little shyly. “If that’s okay.”

She waits for a second, and when Sana doesn’t resist, she wraps Sana up in a warm, gentle hug. It’s a little more satisfying than Arkady’s stiff embrace, though Sana was touched by that, in a bewildered kind of way. Violet is very good at giving hugs; she squeezes just enough to make the hugged person feel cared for, but not so much that it becomes suffocating. After a few seconds, Sana hugs her back, feeling a little guilty for taking as much pleasure in it as she does. The only real downside is that some of Violet’s hair is tickling her nose.

Violet lets go after a few minutes, and Sana tries to summon up a breezy dismissal, or better yet, to ask just what exactly is going on, but the words get stuck in her throat.

“Captain,” Arkady begins. “Is something going on? Something you’re not telling us about?”

“Whatever it is… we want to help you,” Violet puts in. “You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

“I…”

_I’m fine,_ Sana wants to say. Needs to say. But her throat is closing up, and she's so, so tired. She's been holding it together by a thread, and suddenly, that thread is fraying. She squeezes her eyes shut against the suddenly-spinning room. _Damn it, don’t let me do this, not now…_

“Okay,” she hears Arkady say, and then there’s a tug on her hand, leading her into her own room. Sana goes. She hears the door swish shut behind them and the lock engage.

Sana follows the pull of Arkady’s hand down onto her bunk. Someone is gently taking off her shoes. She lies down and feels warm, strong arms around her, holding her together. Violet slips in on Sana’s other side, a reassuring presence at her back.

Sana blinks and looks into Arkady’s dark eyes. “I don’t understand what’s happening here,” she mumbles.

“We’ll figure it out in the morning,” Arkady tells her.

Violet slides an arm around Sana’s waist. “Go to sleep, Captain,” she says, and so Sana does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFF
> 
> In my original draft of this fic (that is, the one in my head) I had Sana telling Arkady everything about the situation with Ricky Q at the end, but instead I decided that they would save that conversation until later. I'm batting around an idea for a little epilogue to this fic, so that may yet feature.
> 
> Also, it was very important to me to preserve the integrity of Krejjh suggesting that Arkady "give" Violet her mint plant in Episode 6, which is the reason why they end up drinking mint tea. Because Krejjh didn't make that suggestion in this timeline, Arkady and Violet drink _kai shui_ instead (which to my mind is a valid substitute if you're out of tea).


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, Sana tells Arkady and Violet the truth about why they rerouted to Hafizah, and Sana and Arkady tell the story of the Landers. Also, there's cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the promised epilogue! I would say "this ran longer than I expected it to", but at this point I'm starting to sound like a stuck record xD So, please enjoy another 3,000-ish words of threesome fluff, cuddles and... lots of talking xD
> 
> I'm also super weak for Sana calling Arkady "Kady" which is why she does it so much in this fic 😍

Sana wakes up to the feeling of someone playing with her hair.

For a few moments, she just lies still, enjoying it, before it occurs to her to think, _Who...?_ She rolls slightly to the side in time to catch Violet withdrawing her fingers, a guilty look on her face.

"Sorry, it's just so soft," she says apologetically.

"I don't mind," Sana tells her with a reassuring smile. "It feels... nice."

Violet gives her an answering smile and goes back to weaving a little braid in Sana's loose hair. With three people in a bunk designed for one person, it's a tight fit to say the least, and Violet almost looks as though she might fall off the edge, but she still appears perfectly at ease.

The details of last night are starting to filter back to Sana. She turns to her other side to find Arkady watching them with a slightly tense expression.

"Hey," Sana says. She figures Arkady probably wants to cut to the chase and talk about... whatever this is. She's rarely one for beating about the bush. "So... Should we, uh, talk about..."

"If you're ready to," Arkady says quickly. Sana frowns slightly. That wasn't the reply she was expecting. Then she remembers Arkady's question when she and Violet had appeared in Sana's doorway the previous night. She sighs, slumping down on the bed.

"I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said that everything's fine?" she asks.

"After last night? You can try, but I'm not gonna believe you," says Arkady, her half-joking tone failing to hide her seriousness. Behind Sana, Violet's hands still in Sana's hair as she listens. "Look, would you just... For once, can you not try to take everything on yourself? Being the Captain doesn't mean you have to be a martyr. We're a team. You can trust us."

It stings a little, but Sana knows Arkady is right. She's acting like she doesn't trust the others with the truth. As little as Sana wants Arkady to know that Ricky Q is back in their lives, more than anyone, she deserves to have that information.

"Fair warning: you are not going to like this," Sana tells her.

"Um..." Violet's voice tiptoes from Sana's other side. "If this is something you guys need to discuss in private, I can go."

"What?" says Sana in surprise. "Don't be silly, of course you should be here. We want you to stay. Right, Arkady?"

"Sure," says Arkady. "Unless L- unless Violet doesn't want to be here, of course. Then you're free to go." She's watching Violet carefully for her reaction.

"No, I do, of course I do," Violet says, and Arkady's shoulders relax incrementally.

Sana smiles, right up until Arkady says, "All right, Sana. What's going on?"

Sana sighs again. "Last night, I talked to Campbell. He called to find out what was going on, and... we had a pretty bad argument. I told him that we wouldn't be in contact again for a while, and... he took it badly."

Arkady opens her mouth to say something, looking indignant on Sana's behalf, and Sana shakes her head minutely to show that she's not finished. "Not long after, another call came through, and I picked up right away, thinking it was Campbell again. It wasn't."

Arkady looks wary, and Sana braces herself before she delivers the next piece of information. "It was Ricky Q, Kady."

"**What?!**" Arkady doesn't quite leap into the air and hiss like an angry cat, but it's a close call. Her shoulders go rigid and her hackles visibly rise as she directs a look of fury at Sana. Beside her, Sana feels Violet tense. "That guy?! How the **hell** did he even get your number? There is no **way** he hacked us-"

"He talked to the Fowleys," Sana tells her, tiredly.

"Backstabbing pieces of shit." Arkady's anger immediately switches targets. "I knew we should have taken more precautions when we contacted them."

"Yeah, consider that lesson learned," Sana agrees.

"So, what, now we're rerouting to Hafizah because Ricky Q wants to meet us? Why?" demands Arkady.

"He wants to meet me," Sana corrects her. "He told me to come alone."

"Like hell I'm going to let you go into that meeting alone," Arkady says immediately. "No way, Sana."

Sana smiles a little at Arkady's instant, knee-jerk protectiveness. "Are you seriously telling me that you wouldn't stab him in the gut as soon as you got the chance?"

"No, I'd give him five seconds to talk himself out of it first," says Arkady. "After that, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

Sana chuckles a little, then grows serious again. "I don't think we can afford to risk doing anything that will turn him against us - at least, not at first," she admits. "He claims he's leaking to contacts in the IGR."

"From our ship? _How?"_ Arkady asks flatly. "I scanned us for bugs, Sana. We're clean."

"I know. He claims - and I want you to know that I _don't_ believe this - he claims one of you has been unknowingly leaking to one of his middlemen."

"Since before Elion?" asks Violet. "When would we even have had the opportunity?"

"Unless he's claiming Campbell or Red Gregor is his middleman, it doesn't fit," Arkady agrees. "None of us even knew what the new names were going to be on the IDs ahead of time. Except for you and me," she adds to Sana.

"Exactly. Like I said, I don't believe it," Sana says, giving Arkady a look to show that she knows what she's not saying. "But until I get more information out of him, I can't be sure what he knows and what he's telling them about us. He knew about you, Violet."

Violet bites her lip. "So... Is this guy an old contact of yours, or...?" She looks between the two of them.

Arkady snorts derisively. "'Contact'. As if."

"We go back a little... further than that," Sana says carefully. "Arkady, do you want to do the honours?"

"Why don't we both tell it," Arkady says, with a humourless little smile.

So, Sana and Arkady take it in turns to tell the story of the Cresswin Landing uprising. It's a little strange to be telling the story in full like this, together - Brian and Krejjh know it, more or less, but it came out in bits and pieces during downtime and late nights, over moonshine and card games. Sana was always careful not to tell more than Arkady was comfortable with, so she tended to let her friend bring up the subject first. Now, she lets Arkady do most of the scene-setting, explaining how Cresswin Landing came to be founded and what it was like growing up there. As she explains about the waves of dissenters and the influx of inmates from Telemachus, including Sana, Violet exclaims, "I should have guessed you two went that far back!"

Sana smiles, but Arkady looks uncomfortable. "It's not like... we didn't really know each other. I was a kid. I wasn't exactly memorable."

She says it jokingly, with a sidelong glance at Sana, but Sana frowns. "I knew who you were," she corrects Arkady. "When we started getting the supplies in place, you were the one who was always tending the greenhouses. We had that conversation, remember? When I told you about my black thumb and how I'd inadvertently killed-"

"Your mother's hothouse plants," Arkady finishes quietly. "I didn't think you remembered that conversation."

Sana gives Arkady a nudge with her shoulder. "Why do you think I installed a miniature greenhouse on board the ship right after we started flying together? It was for you, Kady."

Arkady opens her mouth, and then closes it again, looking stunned. Sana smirks and pushes her hair back behind her ear.

"Wait, you guys have a miniature greenhouse on board the ship?" Violet interrupts delightedly. "Where? I've never noticed it."

"It's in the kitchen. It folds out from the wall," Sana tells her. "The plants there are all Arkady's - she's our resident gardener. She'll show it to you sometime, won't you, Arkady?"

"Yeah, if you... if you want," Arkady says with an attempt at diffidence. "It's not... that impressive."

"Maybe not to you. I couldn't take care of a cactus," Sana says ruefully. "Anyway, to get back to the Landers... Things started to shift not long after my group came to Cresswin. There was an energy building among the Landers to do something - rise up and overthrow the guards. To run the planet themselves. They - we - were the ones doing all of the work - producing the goods that the Cresswin estate sold on for profit. We were going to export goods, to trade, to support ourselves and register as an independent planet.

"Lots of the Telemachians had contacts, and we started to smuggle things in - food, supplies, weapons. Other people had experience in organising direct action, and together, we started to co-ordinate in secret. Then, at the first meeting, this white guy showed up..."

"Roderick Quincy Cresswin Junior," says Arkady. Violet's eyes widen at the name 'Cresswin'.

"Alias Ricky Q," Sana finishes.

"Oh," says Violet. "Wow. So, he was what - an heir to the Cresswin estate?"

"I think he was fourth in line to inherit the family fortune," says Sana. "He had older siblings, which gave him a bit more freedom, but the Cresswin name comes with a lot of wealth and prestige. A **lot.**"

"Yeah, sucked to be him," mutters Arkady.

"Obviously, we were all pretty wary when he showed up," Sana continues. "But he was charismatic, and passionate, and he seemed so sincere that we wanted to believe... that someone like him could see things the way we did."

She and Arkady sketch out the details of Ricky's betrayal for Violet. She lets Arkady fill in the blanks about what happened afterwards: the lack of supplies, the desperation, the hunger.

"We had some contacts - a couple of smugglers came by when they could."

"Doesn't sound like enough to support a planet," Violet says softly.

"Yeah, well. We wound up trading with Dwarnians."

"It doesn't sound like you had other options."

"Maybe not. But when our agreement broke down, things got... scary," Arkady says, fiddling with a corner of the bedsheet. "Nobody in the universe saw us as a real registered planet, so nobody had our backs until the war. And that didn't come for a good ten months."

"Jesus," Violet breathes. "You were still a kid..."

Arkady looks at her. "By then? Not so much."

Sana lets the silence sit for a few seconds before she breaks it. "All right; come here." She turns to Arkady and wraps her arms around her, doing her best not to jostle them too much in the tiny bed.

Arkady goes as stiff as a board. "Sana, what-"

"I'm _giving you a hug,_" Sana tells her, in an imitation of Arkady's deadpan snark from the night before. Violet giggles.

Arkady huffs and tries to pretend that she isn't relaxing into Sana's embrace. "Come on, Sana, can we please not-"

"Wait, I want in on the hug!" Violet declares. Arkady groans theatrically.

Sana grins at her and grips her a little tighter. "Try not to wriggle too much," she says, and then rolls them both, easily flipping Arkady and depositing her in the middle of the bed. Arkady stares at her open-mouthed, her cheeks flushed, and Sana suspects she might have enjoyed being manhandled - well, womanhandled - a lot more than she's letting on.

"Yay," Violet cheers, snuggling up behind Arkady and wrapping an arm around her waist. Arkady reddens even more, and Sana laughs - at the release in tension, at Arkady's expression, at Violet's carefree silliness, which she suspects might be played up for Arkady's benefit.

They stay like that for a while, Sana and Violet snuggled either side of Arkady, who is visibly resigned to her fate. Finally, it's Violet who breaks the silence.

"Not to bring the mood down, but what are you guys going to do about Ricky Q's blackmail?"

Sana nods, acknowledging that they need to talk about this, and props herself up on one elbow. "I still need to go and meet him alone. Whatever is going on here, this is our only way to get more information. 'Follow any lead', remember?"

"Yeah, not when that lead means _putting you in danger_," Arkady objects hotly. "If he's leaking to the Regime, he could have fifty IGR agents waiting for you at the rendezvous point."

Sana tilts her head to one side. "I don't think so," she says. "They'd just as soon arrest him for everything that he's done under that alias since Cresswin. You tracked him, in the years after the war - his rap sheet is way longer than ours. And we don't trust Ricky Q at all. If the IGR wanted to use bait to lure us out, there are a lot more effective ways to do that."

Arkady scowls as she silently concedes Sana's point. "I still don't want you going in there without backup."

"Could we, I don't know, reconfigure Sana's comm link to broadcast back to us, and listen in?" Violet suggests.

"I have a feeling Ricky will expect that," Sana says. "He'll probably make me deactivate my comm, and he'll scan me for bugs as well."

Violet nods, biting her lip.

"Here's what I think we should do," says Sana, before Arkady can suggest something hare-brained, or outright insist on accompanying Sana to the rendezvous. "I'll give you guys my co-ordinates for the rendezvous when Ricky sends them. We'll position the ship an equal distance from the rendezvous point and the pickup site if we can, in case I need to make a quick getaway. And if I don't make contact for more than two hours, you have my full permission to come charging in, guns blazing." She says this with a wry look at Arkady.

Arkady scoffs. "Captain, if you think I need your permission to go in guns blazing..."

"Yeah, but humour me, okay?" Sana says, smiling and leaning into her slightly with her shoulder. "But seriously, don't blaze in too soon. I'd rather have you here, where you can look after things. I can handle Ricky Q."

Arkady subsides again, but Sana can tell that she's still hung up on something by the little frown line that creases her brow and the way she worries her lips together. Arkady calls it "uncanny" how Sana can always tell when something's bothering her, but years of studying a person's face will do that to you. She waits.

"But even if the rendezvous goes completely to plan, what then?" Arkady asks finally.

"Arkady, since when did you become such a contingency planner?" Sana teases her. Arkady rolls her eyes.

"I'm just saying - do we let him get off scot-free after what he did? Blackmailing us?"

Sana grows serious. She's calmed down a lot since last night and is thinking much more clearly, but a cold anger still sits in the pit of her stomach whenever she thinks about Ricky Q. About the way he'd threatened the crew.

"No," she says quietly. "I don't intend to let him get away with it. I'm not going to do anything that puts our lives in danger, but once I know you're all safe - I'm going to make sure this catches up to him."

Arkady gives her a look of fond admiration that makes her stomach flip over, instantly transporting her back five years. God, she hadn't realised how much she'd missed seeing those looks from Arkady.

"I think I just got chills," Violet jokes, rubbing at one of her bare arms. "I'm also re-evaluating all of my assumptions about Sana being the nicest one on the ship."

"I'm nice!" Sana protests, while Arkady cackles.

"I told you not to let the dimples fool you, Liu. You should hear the way she makes some of our clients quake if they try to play hardball. They don't call her Tripathi the Terror for nothing."

"They do **not** call me that," Sana insists, feeling her face redden. Arkady laughs harder. "And who was it that flipped a table over when we met with the Fowleys?"

"You flipped a table?" Violet asks Arkady with interest. Sana looks over to see Violet giving Arkady exactly the same look that Arkady had given her moments ago - a mixture of fondness and admiration. But instead of feeling jealous or left out, Sana just feels warm inside.

"I was punctuating a threat," Arkady tells Violet.

"Oh, I see."

"We're going to get through this," Sana says quietly, almost to herself. Arkady and Violet both look over at her. "Whatever this is, whatever's going on. We're equal to it."

"Landers?" Arkady asks her with a little smile.

Sana looks at Violet, who is wearing a slightly apprehensive expression, as she had when she asked if she should leave to let Arkady and Sana discuss things in private. She smiles warmly at her, hoping to convey just how much Violet belongs here in their little threesome.

"We're not just Landers," she says, gently tangling her fingers with Arkady's. Miraculously, Arkady picks up on what she's doing and reaches out to take Violet's hand. "We're more than that. We're survivors, all of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aNd ThEn ThEy HeLd HaNdS the end :D
> 
> Except... not the end! I've decided I want to write a couple more one-shots from Episodes 7 and 8 and pooooooossibly post-episode 10, so look out for more fluff featuring our starfaring threesome :D
> 
> (Sidenote: you guys need to help me come up with a good ship name for these three, because all I've got right now is "ViKaNa", which sounds like a new-age drug)


End file.
